life questions 201...

Let’s continue our dinner discussion. Because my friends that evening posed a second question related to their singleness and celibacy.

Remember, in our last musing together, we talked about who celebrates with us? Equally important is who mourns with us.

The holidays seem to bring out these types of questions if we sit quietly enough to allow them to surface. That in itself is challenging in a season that is loud, filled with music, and the clanging of bells. None of these things are bad in themselves, but they keep us surrounded by noise. Especially those of us who do not live alone, those of us who are not single.

“Family” gives us automatic comfort in these questions. They will celebrate with me. They will be who I spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with. They will comfort me as I mourn. And certainly family plays a significant role in this in most of our lives.

But Jesus, in the gospels, upends this notion. Follow me here. Jesus turns our attention away from our nuclear, blood family. He focuses us on the family that he creates as we become united to Him. 

In Matthew 19:29, He says, “ And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.”

In Mark 10, He reiterates it this way: “Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”

He then re-establishes “family” in Matthew chapter 12 by saying:  “While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Certainly Jesus is not saying that we should divorce our wives, disrespect our mothers, or ignore our blood family. You can read elsewhere copious passages that lay out how we live as blood relations.

I do believe however, that He is instating some new priorities. Some upside down priorities. He follows both of the first two quotes above by saying that the last will be first. He reverses what is “normal” to us, what seems “natural”.

Many of us reading this are married with families that include a spouse, children, and perhaps even grandchildren. Jesus seems to be saying that we need to realign our priorities to make room for His priorities. We need to reorient our lives to reflect how He oriented His own life.

Our spiritual family, or our “family of God”, or our “church family” is of great importance. And often we act like it’s an “add-on”. A bonus.

To our single friends, this spiritual family is crucial. Regardless of why someone is single, and the reasons are varied, they are essential parts of our spiritual bodies that often get overlooked and undervalued.

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve talked to friends in the double digits, who are single, and who are mourning.

They are mourning being alone in their hopes and dreams.

They are mourning simple life things such as who knows their favorite cereal, or what they put on their pancakes.

They are mourning because if they do not travel to their parents or siblings, they wonder where they will spend Christmas.

Who sits beside these brothers and sisters in their mourning?

Jesus says clearly that it is all of us. You, me, everyone else worshipping with us on Sunday. We should be actively sitting with our brothers and sisters.

We are responsible to each other. 

We are responsible for each other.

The early  church in Acts made sure that “there were no needs among them”. I’m betting this was not solely physical or material needs. 

Looking out for each other’s emotional, relational, and soul needs speaks volumes to those looking at us.

Living a life that embraces this enlarged view of family is one way that we stand out as unique in our culture. We could stand as lights in both secular and religious culture. Family is often valued above all else. Family often holds our first loyalty and our last thoughts.

Jesus says, “not in My kingdom”. My Kingdom looks out for the poor. My Kingdom looks out for the orphan. My Kingdom cares for widows. My Kingdom sees and honors the bond created by the Spirit between us.

Let’s be people that mourn together. 

This holiday season, seek out brothers and sisters in your midst and enlarge your family. 

Then message me and share the story.