ring by spring?

What difference does it make?

 I’m always asking myself this question as I’m reading and preparing to write something. We read through Genesis chapters two and three, saw creation through two different accounts, and saw God’s intimate involvement. It’s time to draw a couple conclusions. 

But what difference in real life does it make?

This week, I’d like to make a couple conclusions about marriage- some from the chapters, and some from my thoughts. You can see what you think about what I think. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, via email or over a beverage.

What is the purpose of marriage anyways? As we read through Genesis chapters two and three, God goes to a lot of effort in the creation of Eve. Not that Adam was “easy”, but there was all the naming of the animals, the (sign) conclusion that none of them were good ‘fits’, the deep sleep for Adam to allow for the surgery to extract his rib, and the proclamation that it wasn’t good for man to be alone.

And then they are made ‘one flesh’ in the leaving of family and the  cleaving to each other.

• So should everyone marry?

• Is marriage a promise to us?

• Is marriage the preferred path?

• Am I less complete without marriage?

• And does marriage mean a male and a female?
  

We won’t get to all of these this week, but let’s start to reason together. 

Remember the challenge from ML King?  To be ‘strong minded and soft hearted’? It’s important to keep those straight in our minds. 

I’m called to be as cunning as a snake- to understand scripture, to understand the world, to be reasoning thoughtfully about current events, and to be wise in relationships. Often, we are soft minded. We read only the headlines, we take as fact what is spoken from up in front of us, and we do not exert much effort to learn otherwise. Dangerous that is (said Obi-Won Kenobi). He also said, “The force has a strong influence on the weak-minded.” Let’s resolve right now to work to be strong minded people.

I’m also called to be as innocent or harmless as a dove. Innocence trusts people, takes them at face value, loves strongly and without question. It needs the balance of a strong mind. But often, we are hard hearted. We are unmoved by the pain and suffering that moves our God, and we turn our eyes away in the face of harsh realities.

Being soft hearted and remaining that way will bring you pain in relationships. But I strongly believe that we are called to keep our hearts soft, to keep them tender, and to keep them open. Jesus modelled this at great cost to Himself. And all throughout the Old Testament we see God’s pain and bleeding over the unfaithfulness of His bride, Israel.

Both...And. Strong minded. Soft Hearted. 

Let’s go...

A friend once told me that because God proclaimed that it wasn’t good for man to be alone, marriage was assumed and mandated for all of us. Is he right? 

So let’s reason out the questions, should everyone marry? And is marriage a promise in the scriptures?

Here’s how I read it:

• I do not see anywhere in scripture that there is a promise of marriage for everyone. Certainly, culturally, most all people married. Especially in the Old Testament times. 

• We see strong calls from the Apostle Paul to remain single for the sake of serving in the kingdom. This seems like the opposite of a promise for marriage.

• Singleness as well as marriage are set side by side as options in Paul’s epistles.

• Jesus lives a single life.

• And Jesus tells his apostles in Matthew 19 to weigh carefully the commands about divorce prior to marrying, seemingly saying that, for some, they should stay single.

• Bible characters as examples: Jeremiah, John the Baptist, Joseph, and Paul stand out to me.

• Others chose singleness when they were widowed- Anna the Prophetess is one of my favorites.
  

It seems clear to me, that both singleness and marriage are ways that we can live honorably before the Lord. Both can glorify, and both can be used to sharpen, sanctify, and grow us. It also seems like there is a good case to be made that singleness is the preferred state right now for the possibilities of Kingdom advancement.

So why, being faithful church attenders, do we all think that singleness is a problem to be fixed? 

I’m going to let that one hang there for you to ponder. Or for you to message and we can chat over a beverage- my treat!

I do believe that the church promotes marriage heavily in their language, programming, and stance. While at the same time, offering little support to single people, whether lifetime or seasonal, in its midst. 

But that is for another post.

For today- what do you think? Are we promised marriage? Are we mandated to get married?

What have you reasoned out? Drop me a note!

To strengthen your mind:, three perspectives on the purpose and meaning of marriage:

Gary Thomas in his book, Sacred Marriage.

Matt and Laurie Krieg in their new book, Impossible Marriage.

Francis and Lisa Chan in the book, You and me Forever.